A Stick of Dynamite Anyone?

Am I self-controlled (not easily angered) with my spouse? In other words, I could describe myself as not having a short fuse or quick temper.

You know what??? I am REALLY good at this. Ummmm.... Except for when my husband is late coming home from work or doesn't clean up things he gets out or is moving too slowly. Maybe its time for reassessment.

I used to yell at my husband - a lot. Actually it was when we were dating. I'll never forget him looking at me one time and telling me he was tired of me yelling and how it hurt him when I did. Surprisingly I didn't even realize I was yelling! It just happened. I told him I wouldn't do it again. And although I have been really upset and "raised my voice", I can say that I haven't yelled. I truly had no idea I was hurting him with the way I was talking to him about who knows what.

Losing our self control is way too easy - so easy that it's hard to even notice. It's easy to notice the slamming doors and things like that, but the more subtle ways we lose control - rolling eyes, sighing, cutting words - because we're upset about who knows what.

This week, I'm going to try to pay closer attention to what I'm doing when I'm feeling impatient and work to change those things. Perhaps it's as simple as needing some extra rest. Perhaps it's a matter of self discipline. We'll see.

Thoughts?

Cutting the Ties (Kids Connect)

Previous kids connect

The Covenant of Mizpah (Genesis 31)

Reading with your child.....
After Jacob told Laban that God had been watching out for him, giving him what Laban would have taken away, Laban said to Jacob, "These are my daughters and children. These are my flocks. Everything here is mine. So, let's make a covenant between us." So Jacob set up a rock as a pillar and directed his children to place several stones around it and they created a pile of stone.

After the pillar had been set up, Laban said, "May the Lord watch between you and me when we are away from each other. If you harm my daughters or take other wives, the Lord will see. And, let this pillar and heap which I have set up be a witness that I will not pass by it to hurt you and you will not pass by this pillar to hurt me. May the God of Abraham and Nahor judge between us." Jacob agreed to this and offered a sacrifice on the mountain and called his family to eat and they spent the night there.

Early the next day Laban got up, kissed his children and blessed them. Then he left and went back to his home.

Your child's insights.....
- Do you really think everything was Laban's or Jacob's?
- Who took credit for building the pillar?
- What actually built the pillar?
- Abraham had 2 brothers, Nahor and Terah. Laban was Nahor's grandson. Jacob was Nahor's great-grandson. Who did Laban say his god was?
- Why do you think that Laban wanted to make the promise he did with Jacob?

Ideas for prayer with your child.....
- Pray that your child will treat others justly even when others don't do the same to them.
- Pray that your child will always have God as their God and no others.
- Pray that your children will have peaceful relationships and be able to deal with conflict when it arises in relationships in their lives.

Your considerings......
- Wow! Laban is so very arrogant! He says that everything Jacob has is his, not acknowledging Jacob's service or need for payment! Then he goes on to take credit for building the pillar even though Jacob and his children built it! I know that sounds like a little thing, but can you imagine how aggravated Jacob must have been?
- You'd think that after having a dream in which God spoke to him, Laban would have acknowledged his need for only One God, not continuing in his polytheistic lifestyle. I guess not.
- What do you think of this incident?

Music for Your Wednesday - Call My Name (Third Day)

My prayer for you today is that you would trust in the unfailing love that the Creator of the universe holds for you. May you be encouraged this Wednesday.



Third Day Lyrics – Call My Name
It’s been so long since
You felt like you were loved
So what went wrong
But do you know
There’s a place where you belong
Here in My Arms

Chorus
When you feel like you’re alone in your sadness
It seems like no one else in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just call My name and I’ll be there
You just call My name and I’ll be there

The pain inside
Has erased your hope for love
Soon you will find
That I’ll give you all
That your heart could ever want
And so much more

Chorus
When you feel like you’re alone in your sadness
It seems like no one else in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just Call My Name and I’ll be there (2x)
You just Call My Name and I’ll be there

You just Call My Name (2x)
Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive
Call My name say it now
I want you to never doubt
The love I have for you is so alive

You just Call My Name (3x)

The love I have for you is so alive
The love I have for you is so alive
You just Call My Name (3x)

A Fantastic Idea!! Project 365

I was walking around in my RSS feeds today and found this fantastic idea from (in)courage. It's called Project 365 and all the credit goes to Jessica Turner. Here's the project - take a picture every day and then jot down a memory associated with it.

I love journalling and purchased journalling software from Life Journal over a year ago. One of the reasons I love it is because you can attach pictures to the journal entries and you can also search by topic that you have self created and categorize your journal in many different ways. If you're an organizer like me, you'll love it! You don't have to get specific journalling software to do that though - simply use Word or some kind of other word processing program and insert pictures if you prefer. In some ways this is safer because it supports many different formats unlike the Life Journal software.

I digress.

Anyway, what a beautiful and practical way to remember the day to day that at times seems mundane now but will seem more precious as the years go by.

What do you think?

Self Seeking

Am I selfless (not self seeking) with my spouse? In other words, Do I focus on my spouses' needs and wants and balance them with my own.

This can be a tricky concept I think. How do you balance your spouse's needs with your own?

I'm not even close to having this one figured out. My husband and I regularly have the "What do you want today to look like?" conversation. Since I'm the talker and the more selfish one out of the two of us I inevitably end up being the one who spews out my to do list. Then we, ummm, somehow, forget to touch base with what he wanted to do. His to do list gets put to the side and at the end of the day I'm wondering why he seems frustrated.

This isn't just about to do lists - it's about spirituality, refreshment, matters of intimacy, emotions.

How do you balance your needs and your spouse's? I could use some tips and the more practical and concrete the better!

Fabulous Find - Bring the Rain

I have no idea how I found this blog, but last night I did.

I do get caught up in being on-line for extended amounts of time, but never on one blog - until last night.

These are some of the most captivating and emotionally transparent writings I have ever read.

I have talked about Maeve before - a sweet baby that passed away from our friend's lives when she was only 20 days old. I realized more than I have yet that I have no idea how Melissa and Jon (Maeve's parents) have dealt with the experience of losing her. Angie , who writes Bring the Rain, and her husband Todd also lost a baby after only a couple of hours of life. They had 3 daughters prior to having Audrey and have since had another daughter, Charlotte.

Angie and Todd, like so many parents who have lost children, are living in such a way to honor their children and impact others because of their child's life. There is not a single post I've read so far that has not impacted me in some way. I literally laughed and cried when reading what Angie so beautifully wrote.

These people reflect God's presence in their lives and the struggle of life in an incredible way. If you need to see the real presence of God, lived out in someone's life, this is a great place to do it. Start at the beginning. But I need to warn you; you won't want to stop. To start reading, visit Bring the Rain here.

Rachel Lies (Kids Connect)

Previous kids connect

Laban Pursues Jacob (Genesis 31)

Reading with your child.....
On the third day after Jacob and his family fled from Laban, Laban found out. Laban took his children with him and went after Jacob. During one of the nights when Laban was traveling the Lord spoke to Laban in a dream telling him not to speak to Jacob, good or bad. Laban continued in his journey and it took him 7 days to catch up with Jacob.

When Laban caught up to Jacob he went to him and said, "Why have you lied to me and taken my daughters away like captives? If I had known you were leaving I could have sent you away with a celebration. You didn't even allow me to kiss my daughters good-bye! It is completely within my power to hurt you, but your God spoke to me in a dream and told me to not speak to you, good or bad. Now, I know you left because you miss your father and home, but why did you steal my gods?"

And Jacob answered and said to Laban, "I left because I was afraid you would take your daughters away from me by force. And, if you find anyone here who has your gods will not live." Jacob did not realize that Rachel had taken them from her father. So Laban went through all the tents - through Jacob's, Leah's, the servants and finally Rachel's. But Rachel had hidden the idols in the saddle on her camel and sat on them and did not get off her camel to address her father, so Laban did not find them.

After watching Laban search through all their tents Jacob became angry with Laban and confronted him saying, "What have I done wrong here that you have come after me? I have been with you for 20 years and served you and if it was not for God you would have sent me away with nothing, even for all of that service! God has seen what you have done to me and allowed me to leave!"

Your child's insights.....
- What do you think God meant when He told Laban to say nothing to Jacob, good or bad?
- Why did Laban go ahead and talk to Jacob?
- Do you think Rachel really got away with taking the gods?
- Do you think God sees you when people treat you badly?

Ideas for prayer with your child.....
- Pray that they would trust in God even when they are treated unfairly.
- Pray that they would be open to hearing what God wants from them and to obey Him.
- Pray that they would act with integrity always.

Your considerings.....
- I don't get why Laban went right up to Jacob and started talking even though God told him to say nothing, good or bad!
- I felt like my heart fluttered a little for Leah in this passage because Jacob tells Laban he didn't want his wives to be taken from him. If he didn't care about Leah, he could have easily left her behind.
- What do you think of this passage?

A Cup of Water

I read/hear so many people say, "Oh, God did this for me." or "God is amazing. He protected me this way." or "I know He is with me."

Every time I hear someone say that or something like that, I feel sick. And then angry.

I have never known why.

It is something I have prayed about and thought about for a long time. I have wanted to feel what they feel and to believe that what they say is true and not just some kind of Christian cliche, but I've never had any answers.

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I attended the Global Leadership Summit. All weekend I heard stories that referred to the quotes above and even ran into a woman whose speech reverberated with those quotes despite the hardships she had encountered. Again I felt sick. And then very angry.

It dawned on me later, which I'm going to attribute to God because I have been praying about it for so long, why. All of a sudden when we were driving home I said to my husband, "I think I know what my problem is."

I grew up in a household that from the time I was 12 was filled with turmoil in many ways. I remember looking into my vanity mirror one time and planning when and how I would end it all. I couldn't do it, but I remember that feeling of desperation.

Ironically, I also grew up in the church. I asked Christ into my heart when I was a little girl. I don't remember ever specifically asking for His help or even thinking of Him at all in relation to many of the events of my teenage years. Perhaps I couldn't reconcile the two or maybe I didn't want to try. I don't think my young mind could have grappled with that.

Here's my problem. Where was He? How did He help me? I was a child. Why wouldn't He help me like He does everyone else?

And that's why I get angry.

After we got home my husband and kids left the house for a little bit and I had the opportunity to fold laundry and do a little praying. I asked God to simply show me if He was there and if He did help me and I just didn't know it.

Just this past week I ran across an old journal I had been writing in college in perhaps the most trying year of my life. I saught God, begged God, praised God and acknowledged that He was there with me. And He was with me. In the everyday. Subtle but there.

Then a couple of days ago I was reminded of this verse again.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

I felt like He cupped His hands in front of me and handed me a drink of water from His hands. It was simple and clear - like the fog had lifted.

"Lean not on your own understanding."

There is great peace in thinking that way. In not holding that burden.

I may never understand what those years were all about and why they happened and how He was there for me. Right now He's asking me to just trust that He was.

And I can rest in that.

Another Day

Last year I did our first family movie, compiling family photos and videos over the course of the year into one DVD, which was accompanied by music. For me it was a wonderful way to capture the highlights of the year and watch the progression of what the kids were doing.

The song for this week is definitely making the cut for this year's movie. I love this song by Natalie Grant because it reminds me that I have so much to be thankful for and no matter how difficult life gets, there is always a reason to keep waking up each morning.



Another Day
Been driving through the night
I pull up and see the lights
This is the place that I call home
I watch you as you sleep
Think of all you mean to me
Touch your face
Kiss you softly
Before I go to sleep I pray under the stars
Search my soul and check my heart
and thank God for

Another day
Another chance to love the ones I love
To find my way
To laugh, to dance
Watch the sun come up
Another day I get to live
As if
Every breath could be the last I take
I get another day

I've got a hand that I can hold
Someone who knows my soul
A safe place to lay my head at night
So why do I forget
How much I've been blessed in life
Forget what means the most to me
As I'm waking up again I feel my beating heart
So grateful that I've come this far
and thank Gof for

Another day
Another chance to love the ones I love
To find my way
To laugh, to dance
Watch the sun come up
Another day I get to live
As if
Every breath could be the last I take
I get another day

To make somebody smile
Go the extra mile
Take a wrong and make it right
And try to touch somebody's life
I get another day

How to Get Gum Out of Hair

Are you ready for this complicated answer????

Olive oil.

That's it.

Gum needs something oily to get it out of hair so other things with oil content like peanut butter and mayonnaise will also work, but olive oil took care of that in 5 minutes flat and that gum was actually chewed INTO the hair - it didn't just fall in!

Why I Hate Yard Sales

Wait. This is why I hate having yard sales....

A few years ago I did my first yard sale. My aunt helped me with it. I don't remember all the details about hosting that yard sale, but I do remember thinking afterwards I would never do it again. I wish I had remembered why.....

Well, in my forgetfulness, I decided to hold another one this summer. Now that my memory has been refreshed, I'd like to share with you why I hate doing yard sales.

Nice basket available. You'd pay at least $10 at Michaels for it. I have it listed for a whopping $2. Lady approaches me, "Would you take $1 for this?" Ummm...what does the sticker say???

Next lady. 2 sets of fairy wings with matching headbands. Slacker me only posted the wings. 10 cents for a set. Said lady approaches me with 2 sets of headbands and 1 set of wings. 10 cents right?

Wendell August Forge platters. They are sold for around $70 a piece, something the lady acknowledges. I have them marked for $3 because my husband is not a fan and wants rid of them. Lady comes up to me saying she wants to pay $5 instead of $6. I'm going to have to say no on that since I'm saving you approximately $134. But who's counting?

Multiple people freely tell me how much they hate the road I live on.

Lady approaches me with a bunch of things. I tell her it will cost her $1.10. Thrilled with her bargains she says, "I'm going to look for more things!" She comes back again. Now her total is $1.55. She pulls out her change purse and says she only has $1.05 because she forgot her money at home. Will I accept that? Okay, I guess I will because I don't want this stuff. Before she turns to go she asks me for directions to the next yard sale she wants to go to. Wait, did you forget your money or not?

And finally, the winner of the day comes to me wanting a set of sheer curtains for less than $5! I tell her I purchased them for $40. She tells me I didn't. (I'm pretty sure I did lady. Would you like to see the receipt?) When I tell her again that is what I paid, she tells me, "Well, they sure saw you coming!" She wasn't joking! She was literally being mean to me - in my own driveway - over $5!!

I posted signs under my mailbox advertising the yard sale. Did I accidentally write, "Hey if you need a reason to insult someone and rip them off, here's your opportunity!!" I should really have made sure before I stapled them to the mailbox post.

Considering Grace

Am I gracious (not rude) to my spouse? In other words, do I build up my spouse with my words spoken in private and in public?

Fabulous Find - Teach Yourself Visually

The first thing I did after I decided on a name for the business was register for a website. I have pretty limited computer knowledge, particularly when it comes to website design. I know a lot more now than I did then, but I expected to sign up for the url, go to the website and create my website through a drag and click method. NOT SO! Wow, was I in a shock and eventually a panic when I realized that my site discussing human trafficking instead was advertising cat throw up medicine. Not exactly inspiring. There were no options for changing fonts, etc! I had no idea what to do.

I eventually found a great software package that I used to create the site (it was clicking and dragging!), but decided that for the long term I might want to learn html. I found a great series of books called Teach Yourself Visually. These books discuss everything from HTML and Photoshop Elements to jewelry making as you see here.

I'm also not gifted at conceptual reasoning. I put together a small cupboard once and when I got done with it I backed up and looked at it and asked my aunt, who was with me, "What's wrong with this?!? It doesn't look right!" Her response, "You put it together upside down. And backwards." Nice.

Having the ability to not only read what to do but see the processes step by step and IN COLOR has been so helpful in learning HTML and Photoshop Elements. From now on if I have to learn something, I'm going to be looking for these books!

Have you ever seen them?

And the Lies Just Keep Going, And Going, and Going....(Kids Connect)

Previous Kids Connect

Jacob Leaves with His Family (Genesis 31)

Reading with your child.....
Over the course of time Jacob continued to prosper along with his flocks while Laban's did not prosper. Laban and his sons saw all that Jacob had gathered from him and their attitude toward Jacob became unfriendly.

The Lord gave Jacob a dream. In the dream the Lord said to Jacob, "Look up and see all the goats which I have given to you. I have seen all that Laban has done to you and I am your God. Now, get up and leave this land and return to the land of your birth."

After this dream, Jacob went to Rachel and Leah and told them of his dream. Both women responded in frustration saying, "Our father sold us and spent all of what he earned from those sales a long time ago. Surely all the wealth and everything we now have belongs to us and our children instead of our father. So yes, let's do what the Lord told you to do."

So Jacob got up, put his wives and children on camels and sent them along with all of his livestock to Canaan where his father Isaac lived. While he was doing this Laban was shearing his flock and Rachel went into her father's house and stole all of Laban's idols.

And Jacob, his entire family and all of his livestock left without telling Laban.

Your child's insights....
- Why did Laban start to be unfriendly with Jacob?
- Did Jacob do anything wrong in this story?
- What is an idol?
- Do you think Rachel will get away with taking the idols from her father?

Your considerings.....
- I'm not crazy about Jacob because of his deceitful he is. At the same time, Jacob has been deceived and manipulated throughout his life - a controlling and manipulative mother to say the least whose actions did end up blessing him with God's grace, but drove him out of his home and good graces with his father and his brother - a father-in-law who tricked him after 7 years of service and then manipulated him into 7 more - wives who manipulated him through sex games and fights all over the place. He comes by his deceitfulness naturally. And it doesn't stop. It just keeps cycling. Does it ever stop for him? Does this play itself out in my life?

Revelation Song - Philips, Craig and Dean

Revelation 5:13 - "Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing:
'To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be praise and honor and glory and power,
for ever and ever!'"



Worthy is the,
Lamb who was slain
Holy, Holy, is He
Sing a new song, to Him who sits on
Heaven's Mercy Seat
[Repeat 2x]

(Chorus)
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing:
Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything,
And I will adore You!
Yeah!

Clothed in rainbows, of living color
Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder
Blessing and honor, strength and
Glory and power be
To You the Only Wise King,
Yeah

(Chorus)

Filled with wonder,
Awestruck wonder
At the mention of Your Name
Jesus, Your Name is Power
Breath, and Living Water
Such a marvelous mystery
Yeah...

(Chorus)

Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come,
With all creation I sing:
Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything,
And I - will - adore YOU

(Chorus)

Agenda Seeking

Agendas are big conversation around this house.

Recently my husband and I both came up with a list of priorities regarding our home. We compared in order to make a decision on what to do with it next. When we looked at our priorities, they were EXACTLY opposite of one another! I mean EXACT!

That is the way my husband and I seem to work. On a daily basis. On a long term basis. Decisions are often times of crisis because we have agendas that do not compliment one another.

We've been trying to work on this area of our marriage though. I know my husband loves it when I consider his agenda before mine and even though that feels painful at times, I love my husband and I do want him to be happy.

Here are some ways I try to consider his agenda:

1. Ask questions. Questions like what do you want today to look like? Is there anything you feel behind on that I can help you with? What are you missing and looking for in our marriage/your job/your walk with Christ and how can I help you with that?
2. Pay attention. Is there something he is mentioning that is bothering him or on his mind that you can take care of?
3. Don't let your right hand know what your left is doing. Don't bring up all the ways you are helping him and all the ways you feel behind on what you are doing. It just ruins it.

How about trying some of these with me this week. For one week we'll consider our husbands' agendas first and see what happens.

Any agenda tricks you'd like to share? Let's hear them!

Jacob Lies to Laban (Kids Connect)

Previous Kids Connect

Jacob Prospers (Genesis 30)

Reading with your child.....
Jacob had many children. After his 11th child, Joseph went to Laban and said, "Sned me away so I may go to my own place and my own country. You know I have served you well, so let my family and I leave." But Laban asked Jacob to continue to stay and asked him what he would need to give Jacob in order to have him remain with him. Jacob told him, "You know you have prospered because of me. You now have more cattle than you dreamed of having before, but I don't have anything to call my own." So Laban agreed to let Jacob pick whatever cows and goats he wanted from Laban's flocks. Jacob seperated himself from Laban by three days distance and took care of Laban's flocks of animals as well as his own. When he found animals that were strong, he kept them, but when he found animals that were weak or sick he gave them to Laban. Because of this, Jacob ended up with very large flocks of strong animals and he deceived Laban.

Your child's insights......
- What did Jacob lie about?
- Why didn't Laban want Jacob to lie?
- What do you think of Jacob in this story?

Ideas for prayer with your child.....
- Pray that your child might succeed in life in honest ways.
- Pray that your child would trust in God when it seems like they aren't succeeding.

Your considerings......
- I didn't realize until I did a study on Genesis how sneaky Jacob was? It's a testament to God's grace and mercy despite our sinfulness and stubbornness.

Challenging Pride

The consideration of pride.....

Am I humble (not proud) with my spouse? In other words, I do not think my agenda is more important than my spouse's agenda.

Think about these things and we'll talk more about it tomorrow.

Soaring!

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31)

May you be encouraged this Wednesday.



Everlasting God
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

Boasting Dog

I happened across this picture and thought - "Wow! This dog looks as ridiculous as I must when I'm bragging about myself!" I think his image may keep in me check this week!

Considering Boastfulness and Weigh Ins

Consider this question with me this week - Am I encouraging (not boastful) to my spouse? Put a different way by Lysa, Do I brag about my accomplishments while downplaying theirs?

Again, more thoughts on this tomorrow.

Now that we are 4 weeks in to this challenge, I wanted to do some weigh ins.

I remember being in high school and watching the wrestlers practically kill themselves a few days before a match - either struggling to lose weight by running through the hallways and every where else dressed in everything in their closets or stuffing themselves with anything even resembling food - just to get to the perfect weight. After watching some of them I'm surprised they were able to wrestle at all and I wonder how many of them, after losing, wondered if it was all worth it at all.

Wrestling was a match by match sport, but the results accumulated into how they were placed when it came to wrestling in sections, districts, regionals and for the really good ones, states. After that it was solely a match status. If you won at that point, you kept going. If you lost, you were out until next season.

Through the last 4 weeks, I have had many opportunities to prepare for the "weigh in" process, but in all honesty, so many - more than not - I have opted out. The first week seemed promising when I didn't tell off the woman at the Wal-Mart check out counter for being rude to my kids and when I took deep breaths to keep from saying something I didn't want to and even when I apologized for losing my patience. The kindness week started the downhill trend. I started focusing on me and what I felt like I was losing out on or giving up more or whatever. Kindness was exemplified by shutting my mouth on occasion and that was about it. I wasn't mean all week long - it's just that when that kindness factor was tested I almost always caved to it. The envy week was not much better. There was one specific day after being incredibly frustrated that I simply HAD to rattle off to my husband how much I had done to serve HIM while simultaneously pointing out how he had not served ME enough. Nice. Sometimes I don't know how my husband does it.

I think this is a worthwhile endeavor - challenging these areas in my marriage and I'm thankful, hopefully, for a week that may not be as challenging for me. I hope to take this week and reflect and focus more on the areas that were hard for me and attempt to do better. Hopefully that will pan out!

If you're participating in the marriage challenge, how is it going for you? A particular week easy or hard for you? Let me know! I'd love to hear what you have to say.