Agenda Seeking

Agendas are big conversation around this house.

Recently my husband and I both came up with a list of priorities regarding our home. We compared in order to make a decision on what to do with it next. When we looked at our priorities, they were EXACTLY opposite of one another! I mean EXACT!

That is the way my husband and I seem to work. On a daily basis. On a long term basis. Decisions are often times of crisis because we have agendas that do not compliment one another.

We've been trying to work on this area of our marriage though. I know my husband loves it when I consider his agenda before mine and even though that feels painful at times, I love my husband and I do want him to be happy.

Here are some ways I try to consider his agenda:

1. Ask questions. Questions like what do you want today to look like? Is there anything you feel behind on that I can help you with? What are you missing and looking for in our marriage/your job/your walk with Christ and how can I help you with that?
2. Pay attention. Is there something he is mentioning that is bothering him or on his mind that you can take care of?
3. Don't let your right hand know what your left is doing. Don't bring up all the ways you are helping him and all the ways you feel behind on what you are doing. It just ruins it.

How about trying some of these with me this week. For one week we'll consider our husbands' agendas first and see what happens.

Any agenda tricks you'd like to share? Let's hear them!