Countering the Culture of Entitlement - Government Handouts

Did you know that 44% of the United States population is living in a household where someone receives government handouts?

That statistic was shocking to me! That is a lot of people buying into, in many cases, the culture of entitlement.

I believe that there are many cases of legitimate need out there - of people trying to support their family, desperately searching for a job who need some assistance while doing so. My heart breaks for the children out there who would have no food, diapers or essentials without food stamps. They are the victims and they deserve to be helped. Or those who are disabled and need a helping hand.

A helping hand is differing than a handout though.

There's almost a sense of pride now, for people who receive handouts, in the fact that they do. It's not a source of shame or motivation. It's more of a sense of "I beat the system!" How do you teach your children that responsibility is a good thing and better than receiving something for free?

The problem is now generational. There is a whole generation of kids who grew up "in the system" or with parents who took advantage of it. They think it's normal and the way its supposed to be to see what you can get from the government and others. Is that something that can be countered? Is it possible to motivate a different sense of pride - a sense of pride that comes with accomplishment and hard work?

What do you think?

Flirting with Sin

Do you flirt? Flirt with your husband? Flirt with other men? Flirt with sin? Flirting is fairly obvious to the one who is doing it, subtle to those around them at times. Very obvious at others.

Flirting is dangerous if you're married.

I don't want to talk about the flirting we all think of - the light touch, intimate looks and getting closer to the one you probably shouldn't be that close with. I want to talk about flirting in a much more secretive way. The way of the internet.

When I was a teenager and dating, once a relationship was over, especially if you weren't around that person on a day to day basis, it was over. It was as easy as you wanted it to be to detach yourself from the person, get the closure you needed and move on without further interference.

Now that is not such a reality. Facebook, white pages and google searches make it all too easy to find a long lost love. And all too dangerous.

A friend of mine shared a relationship with me that was very difficult to disassociate herself from. It took years for her to finally get over the guy once the relationship started deteriorating. She has since married and has a beautiful family and is very happy in her marriage and with what she has been blessed with. Something as simple as a dream made her look up her ex-boyfriend though. It took less than 5 minutes to find him - where he lived, his phone number, his church and place of employment - even his picture was readily available.

And she started to struggle.

All the "what ifs" started coming right back to her. All the good things that had existed in that relationship started popping up in her mind, especially on those "not so great" marriage days. And the old relationship started to erode the solid, God given marriage she enjoyed.

Thankfully, after a little while she, through prayer and perseverance, was able to shut that person out of her life again, but not without consequence. She wishes now that she didn't know all the information she learned that day because it makes him so easily come into her mind still. And that will continue threaten her marriage if she doesn't keep a close eye on it and take the accountability she needs.

Flirting with danger. Flirting with sin. These subtle ways can be so dangerous.

Keep a close tab on what you are doing in relation to the opposite sex this week. Make sure those old relationships stay old and do NOT bring them into your present because they have great power to destroy.

Countering the Culture of Entitlement

Have you noticed entitlement around you lately? Entitlement to treat anyone however you'd like and have them respond however you'd like? Entitlement to get whatever you want when you want it? Entitlement to receive things you haven't worked for or earned, even just on good merit? A "you owe me" mentality?

Last week I went into Barnes and Noble to look for a particular book. I knew they had had it on the shelf because I had looked it up on-line, but when I got to the store I couldn't remember the complete name of the book. I remembered that the word "farmhouse" was in it, but that was it.

When I walked into the store a woman walked over to me and asked me if she could help me. I said yes and explained to her what I was looking for but couldn't remember all the words in the title. She told me to go with her while she tried to look it up.

Fine so far right?

She started looking it up. But, she couldn't find it right away and I think that frustrated her. And so she took it out on me. Asking me question after question and interrupting me as I tried to answer her...... "Is it a book on interior decorating? You don't remember any other words in the title? Author? (Umm. I do good to remember the title let alone the author's name!!) And then the kicker. Well if you know it was on the shelf, you must have seen it so you should know where it is!" (I saw it on the virtual shelf, which you didn't give me the chance to explain!!)

I told her to nevermind. I would go look for it myself.

I walked around the store a little bit, very huffy I might add, and a couple of minutes later she came up to me with the book and just handed it to me. No words, nothing. Just handed it to me. I said "thanks", to which she responded with an abrupt, "Yup" and walked away. I took a brief look at it and put it down. I'm not spending money anywhere with any employee that treats me that way.

This interaction bothered me on several levels.

1. She had approached me to ask if I needed help. I would think she would have been prepared to actually help me.
2. As a small business owner I appreciate every shred of business I receive and I would not want someone working for me like that and losing not only money, but the customer's respect, appreciation and business.
3. Am I buying in to entitlement in thinking that she should have been polite?

I want to start talking about and thinking about these things because this isn't a once in a while experience. It's a very frequent experience in my world. Who likes to call to make any kind of inquiry about a bill or statement or magazine offer? No one! Because you have to wait through impersonal prompts and then when you do get to an actual person, they are more than likely going to be rude to you and bothered that you even called!

This entitlement mentality is prevalent in all sorts of ways in our culture. I want to tackle it so I don't buy into it and my children don't buy into it.

Can you relate to any of this? What would you have done with the lady in Barnes and Noble?

By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North

I have heard this song so many times in the past year or so and it never stopped me until today for some reason. It is an amazing testament of how God loves and cares for us and WANTS to. Take a listen today and be encouraged that He loves you - no matter where you are or how hard you might be or might have pushed away.

By Your Side Lyrics
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

Fabulous Find - Stitch by Stitch

I think if you're the blogging type of person, want to make a difference type of person and are creative at all in this day and age, you're going to end up sewing.

I grew up in a family of seamstresses. I am an extremely concrete thinker and just couldn't grasp the concepts of sewing, nor did I really want to. I remember being in Home Ec in high school and having to sew some sort of book. Oh my goodness. I also remember my teacher being extremely frustrated with me because I sincerely had no idea what in the world I was doing - and again, I didn't care. I got a C because of that stinking book.

Several years later I graduated college and needed professional casual clothes to wear for an internship. I didn't have any money. So my mom found some patterns and tried to teach me how to sew, again to no avail. I'll never forget her looking at me and actually saying out load, "How do you not understand this?!?" Poor mom.

Again, several years later I tried to make curtains. Do you remember me saying I'm impulsive? I almost always bite off more than I can chew. I got so frustrated with that project that I threw all the fabric I had bought to make them into a ball and into a closet. They ended up in the trash.

But then, just this year I found the Idea Room. And then I found Craft Hope. And I decided if I wanted to get involved and have the incredibly adorable things I have since found for myself and my children, I was going to have to learn to sew.

I took the plunge and bought a machine. Between bags and clothes, I am currently sewing up a storm. I'll have to share some pictures with you if you're interested! Just this week I used my first commercially designed pattern. Wow. That was not fun compared to the picture description, each step meticulously described Etsy downloadable patterns! But I had this great book to help me out.

This woman is down to earth in her writing style, is not 500 years old and actually gives you projects to complete while she's teaching you how to sew. A fantastic book and a must have if you decide to take the sewing plunge. You can find her book on Amazon here.

So, do you sew? Any sewing catastophes you'd like to share here? I'd love to hear them! I can take all the encouragement I can get some days!

Picture taken from http://www.amazon.com.

You Never Let Go - Matt Redman

I'm so thankful He doesn't let go of us.

Challenging Your Marriage - Am I Able to Let it Go?

061 - Mar 2 - Letting Go
Originally uploaded by ladybugrock

It's been a couple of weeks since we talked about challenging our marriages. But I want us to keep going and keep challenging.

This week, let's consider this.....Am I able to forgive and let go of (keeping no record of wrongs) my spouse's shortcomings? Do I use my spouse's past shortcomings as ammunition in today's disagreements or allow these things to taint our communication daily?

Now is a good time for a very appropriate disclaimer.

There are indeed horrible marriages out there. Marriages full of pain and strife - of adultery, unfaithfulness, abuse, deceit and a myriad of other cruelties. I am not an expert at dealing with these things by any stretch of the imagination. I have seen these things happen first hand in marriages and I don't know how some of them withstood. Others I watched fall apart and end in divorce, even appropriately so. While I believe that God wants EVERY marriage to work out, I do not believe that any of the things I mentioned are to be tolerated or accepted in any way. I believe there are times it is appropriate for a divorce to be the final chapter in a marriage. I know it hasn't been designed that way, but humanity is fallen.

I have been thinking about this disclaimer since the beginning of this challenge, but this week seemed the best time to talk about it.

Records of wrongs.

Are they to be held over a spouse's head? No.

Are they to be dealt with? Yes.

I think there is a difference between talking about and dealing with the pain that happens in a marriage and continuing to threaten and hate and harbor bitterness over an issue for years and years. There's a difference. There's a place for accountability. There is a place for forgiveness.

Jesus dealt with things head on - "What's that you're thinking Mr. Pharisee? Why do you say that? Satan get behind me., etc." Jesus does not shy away from dealing with reality.

When true repentance occurs and true change follows, even struggling change, Jesus kept moving forward. He didn't say, "Peter, didn't we talk about trusting Me with the walking on the water incident??? Or Mary, how can you still be sinful after I let you survive the wrath of your stoners?"

Are we moving forward in our marriages, no matter what the circumstances? Dealing and/or forgiving? Are you unsure what you are supposed to do in your marriage because of the pain that exists?

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5

Let's ask for wisdom and grace to live this challenge as God would want us to.

King of Glory

This week has been so busy and I've felt completely overwhelmed so much of the time, which is why there have not been many posts this week.

I have been reading the Psalms lately and I read Psalm 24 this week. Here it is for you.

Psalm 24
Of David. A psalm.

1 The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it;

2 for he founded it upon the seas
and established it upon the waters.

3 Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ?
Who may stand in his holy place?

4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to an idol
or swear by what is false. [a]

5 He will receive blessing from the LORD
and vindication from God his Savior.

6 Such is the generation of those who seek him,
who seek your face, O God of Jacob. [b]
Selah

7 Lift up your heads, O you gates;
be lifted up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.

8 Who is this King of glory?
The LORD strong and mighty,
the LORD mighty in battle.

9 Lift up your heads, O you gates;
lift them up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.

10 Who is he, this King of glory?
The LORD Almighty—
he is the King of glory.
Selah

I love Chris Tomlin's interpretation of this song and the way he puts it to music. May Christ be the King of Glory in your life today.

They Have Been Bought with a Price

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

You were bought with price.

I heard those words this weekend in a sermon and they struck me.

These words are intended to motivate sexual purity. To reinforce the fact that we are not our own and our bodies are not to be messed with in a sexual manner. They are the temple of the Holy Spirit and should be desecrated in no way.

Inspiring and conscience gripping words to some. Horrifying words to others.

Women and girls and boys all across the globe, as young as 4 years old, are bought with a price every day. But it is not a price reflecting their actual worth. Their dignity and sacredness is cheapened in an incredible way. Perpetrators victimize young people by paying, or promising to pay, money, goods or services to a youth—or a pimp—in exchange for sexual acts or entertainment. The most intimate, vulnerable and sacred parts of these youth are demolished in a day. These young men and women have been forced into sexual slavery at the hands of someone much stronger than they are. And escaping from that horror is next to impossible. Even if they do escape, the ramifications of the acts they have been forced to complete and the experiences they have encountered can be crippling.

I have been thinking of these issues and learning about them for the past six months since I started my business. Many of the products I sell have been created by human trafficking survivors and I wanted to know what I was talking about. I am ashamed to say that all this time I have not feel particularly passionate about this issue. I recognize it as a huge injustice, and want to help, but my heart hasn't been as in it as much as I hoped it would be. Part of it, I think, is because I've never seen this up close, nor do I know anyone else who has.

As I've been working on this post, my 4 year old started crying - the hurt kind of cry - as she was coming down the stairs. I ran to see what was the matter and here she had closed her thumb in a door. I picked her up, held her, brought her to where I was working and just cuddled with her. When she started to calm down, I looked into her big, dark, innocent eyes and I thought about how beautiful she is.

If anyone ever did this to my daughter, I would be beyond furious. I don't think there could be words that would even be able to describe the feelings of devastation I would experience as her mother. Let alone what she would be experiencing. The injustice of sexual slavery is disgusting and sick and deserves the fires of hell. These individuals that have been so degraded have been bought with the blood of Christ and deserve to be treated that way.

The issue is enormous. It is so widespread, a $32 billion a year industry, as a matter of fact. When you think about it, it is easy to feel helpless and powerless to do anything. Feelings of helplessness and powerlessness don't lend themselves to action. They typically inspire nothing.

Sexual slavery an issue that we are all responsible for changing because it is a human injustice. The more personal we can make it, the more we'll want to change it. It is incredibly easy to get involved and make a difference, even if it seems small to you. Volunteering, sending letters to survivors, financial donations to a variety of organizations, buying products the survivors have made at a fair trade wage (ensuring fair treatment and encouraging their creativity), sending every day staples to the organizations supporting these individuals, or simply reading about these injustices. These are all ways to help. Maybe this isn't your passion. That's okay. But we can all do something.

At the Idea Camp this week, the issue of sexual slavery is being discussed. Bloggers will be contributing their thoughts of slavery in creative and purposeful ways. Check it out to learn more and see what you can do to help.

**Disclaimer - Many links provided here are associated with my business and the various informational links within it which discuss human trafficking and sexual slavery. The purpose of this is to introduce you to ways you can help, not solicitation.

A Tremendous Thank You

Have you ever received a gift that has blessed you more than you imagined it ever would?

I want to tell you a story about an amazing gift I received a week ago.

Right after I decided to do the Buy-A-Bag Campaign for the business (which I'll fill you in on next week!), I knew I was going to need a logo/button for it. And I knew I didn't know how to do that. But I know a gifted individual I have worked with in the past. He designed the logo for the business, which I am still in love with - and I don't love "things" for very long. He was just incredible to work with and listened to my requests and worked with them immediately. I would tell him I wanted to change a color or design and he'd have new samples ready for me within the same day! I couldn't get over how dedicated and gracious he was to work with. So, I contacted him.

Chadwick Parker.

But this time I asked him to donate his time and gifts. I sent him an email telling him what I was doing and why. I didn't know how it would be received. I was asking him in humility to design the logo, not because I was trying to take advantage of him, but out of need. You never know how emails are going to come across though.

The next morning, after I groggily got out of bed, I checked my email and there was a response from him. Overnight he developed 2 different buttons for me to display. 2! I couldn't get over it! No questions asked. He did it because he believes in the mission of A21. And they are beautiful buttons! And after that, he helped me put them up on my site and blog!

I was so blessed by what he did. I am still so incredibly grateful. That's one of those gifts that you just can't pay back, no matter what you do. Because you can't pay back that feeling and the emotions that go along with it.

Please share a story of an incredible gift you've received here.

Fabulous Find - Retail Me Not

This is one of my most fabulous finds yet! I love this site and it's so much one of my favorites that I don't do ANY on-line shopping without it!

And it's so simple!

Point your browser here - http://www.retailmenot.com/

In the gynormous box on the front page type in the url of the store you want to buy something from and see all the incredible coupons retailmenot pulls up for you!

I have saved so much money here through discounts, free shipping and coupon codes. Take a look! Isn't simplicity wonderful?

Darts

Yesterday I posted on the Todd Agnew song Grace Like Rain. The last sentence I typed was "be encouraged that our sins have been washed away". The second I finished typing it, I felt like someone threw a dart into my stomach.

I have such a hard time believing in and accepting that grace.

This past weekend I went shopping. Completely out of the blue - I mean I NEVER expected it - wasn't even on my radar - I ran into an ex-boyfriend. I didn't run into him literally; I just happened to be in the same store as he was. We didn't interact with each other. I don't think he even recognized me. I couldn't believe the effect that had on me. I had chalked that relationship up to a very young, very terrible mistake. This guy took advantage of me in incredible ways and I let him. I take responsibility that I made huge mistakes, but I also acknowledge that he, as a person significantly older than me, knew what he was doing much more than I did. In light of that, I found it pretty easy to dismiss him.

When I saw him it was different. Seeing him and after seeing him, my mind went into a tailspin. I started feeling the same insecurities I had during and after our dating relationships. I started questioning why I wasn't "worth" it for him to stick around. I started thinking about the regret I should be feeling and the weight I "should" be putting on myself over the mistakes I made there, especially in light of my incredible husband and what he deserves. Things I hadn't struggled with in a long time were all right in front of me again.

I don't know how to accept that "grace like rain". I know He says it's for me, but I don't live like I believe it is for me in my heart. I believe that if I regret something and have made mistakes, I should carry that regret around with me. To rid myself of it is to brush it off, to not really care.

I know God wants me to experience His grace and peace. I just don't know how to work with that regret and God's gifts together.

I also know that Satan exists. And I know that this is what God has to say about Him, in part. "Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." He throws arrows. He throws darts. Arrows to pierce and cripple.

Satan has been throwing flaming arrows at me since Saturday and I have not guarded myself with a shield of faith - the belief that God's with me in all of this and has the power to take care of this - in His way. I don't believe I am supposed to forget what I did or what happened in that relationship, but there has to be a way God's grace can flow through those memories. Leaving that shield down is only going to expose me to more arrows.

I'm going to stop and ask God for the shield of faith today.

Can you relate to any of this?

Grace Like Rain - Todd Agnew

There is just something about this guy's voice. The second this song starts playing I am into it. Todd Agnew has a great, throaty voice and he sings with such passion. He is one of my favorite artists; I think in part because he just sounds different than the "normal" singer.

This song makes it so easy to worship God. The words are simple. The tune brings you in and makes you want to listen to it. And the words are so powerful. Take a listen with me on this Wednesday and be encouraged that our sins have been washed away.



Grace Like Rain (Todd Agnew)
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see so clearly

Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, they're washed away

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

Chorus

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing Your praise
Than when we first begun

Chorus

Chorus

hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah

hallelujah all my stains are washed away, they're washed away.