Challenging Your Marriage - Am I Able to Let it Go?

061 - Mar 2 - Letting Go
Originally uploaded by ladybugrock

It's been a couple of weeks since we talked about challenging our marriages. But I want us to keep going and keep challenging.

This week, let's consider this.....Am I able to forgive and let go of (keeping no record of wrongs) my spouse's shortcomings? Do I use my spouse's past shortcomings as ammunition in today's disagreements or allow these things to taint our communication daily?

Now is a good time for a very appropriate disclaimer.

There are indeed horrible marriages out there. Marriages full of pain and strife - of adultery, unfaithfulness, abuse, deceit and a myriad of other cruelties. I am not an expert at dealing with these things by any stretch of the imagination. I have seen these things happen first hand in marriages and I don't know how some of them withstood. Others I watched fall apart and end in divorce, even appropriately so. While I believe that God wants EVERY marriage to work out, I do not believe that any of the things I mentioned are to be tolerated or accepted in any way. I believe there are times it is appropriate for a divorce to be the final chapter in a marriage. I know it hasn't been designed that way, but humanity is fallen.

I have been thinking about this disclaimer since the beginning of this challenge, but this week seemed the best time to talk about it.

Records of wrongs.

Are they to be held over a spouse's head? No.

Are they to be dealt with? Yes.

I think there is a difference between talking about and dealing with the pain that happens in a marriage and continuing to threaten and hate and harbor bitterness over an issue for years and years. There's a difference. There's a place for accountability. There is a place for forgiveness.

Jesus dealt with things head on - "What's that you're thinking Mr. Pharisee? Why do you say that? Satan get behind me., etc." Jesus does not shy away from dealing with reality.

When true repentance occurs and true change follows, even struggling change, Jesus kept moving forward. He didn't say, "Peter, didn't we talk about trusting Me with the walking on the water incident??? Or Mary, how can you still be sinful after I let you survive the wrath of your stoners?"

Are we moving forward in our marriages, no matter what the circumstances? Dealing and/or forgiving? Are you unsure what you are supposed to do in your marriage because of the pain that exists?

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5

Let's ask for wisdom and grace to live this challenge as God would want us to.