Going Through The Motions - Matthew West

I've heard this song several times before and there was something about it that hit me in the gut, but I never listened to the words completely.

How many times have I longed for safety in my life - that feeling of comfort and peace - knowing that it's all okay. Yet how many times have I denied that in my life because I thought I was finding it in myself more than I could anywhere else? Self protective tendencies tend to lead us down the road of avoidance and hiding.

When you have any type of baggage you've got a tough road to go down if you're going to deal with it. And dealing with that baggage sucks for the lack of a better word.

The alternative is worse. Buried hurt gets us nowhere. Dealing with it is going to be rough. We are going to feel broken. But at least we'll feel.

I think that's what this song is about. Challenge yourself to stop going through the motions of your existence and deal with what you need to deal with it. Don't hide from it one more day.

Not. One. More. Day.

Let's make it real today.

The Motions
This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)
take me all the way (through the motions)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions

Just Can't Deny Him

Our pastor has been talking quite a bit about putting Christ ahead of EVERYTHING we do. Every conversation. Every outing. Everything.

I've been trying that lately and have truly been surprised at what I have experienced.

My son had a birthday party a few weeks ago. I usually freak out about those things the day I am getting ready for them because nothing seems to be done quite when I want it to be. I had so much to do with canning, preparing food, cleaning, etc. I prayed the night before, acknowledging I didn't understand how in the world God would help me through that day without being totally stressed out.

It was amazing. The next day I was not stressed out - at all! My husband, "Mr. Relaxed" (compared to me), was stressed out, but I wasn't. I couldn't believe it! (And neither could he. He kept looking at me like I wasn't real!)

Now I know you're not supposed to share numbers and all that information when it comes to checking accounts, business, weight, age, etc. but I'm going to break the rules for a little bit just because I can't help it.

I took the business to an expo last weekend. The last time I did that, it was a total flop and I lost quite a bit of money. I decided to try again hoping it was a better venue. And I decided to try to pray. I had about $300 in my business checking account when I went. I prayed that God would be before me at the expo, that His will would be done and that I would do what He wanted of me.

A day before the expo happened I got an order in for a bunch of pajama pants. That supplier sets a minimum order of 50 pairs of "punjammies" per order. That ended up totaling $1090. I had no idea how I was going to pay for it. I thought it was a good idea to buy these particular items because they are so popular and are my best sellers online. I had been praying about that order, knowing it was coming up, for about a month.

I went to the expo. The expo happened. Friday to Sunday. Sunday night I tallied up the total. $1090. The same exact number - almost to the penny - for what I needed to write a check for the next day.

I started freaking out. I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it because it was so amazing and just beyond coincidence. I couldn't believe it because He obviously answered my prayer and I was surprised that He could be that exact - that He would be that exact. You hear about situations like that with other people, but that's not a normal experience for me. Actually that has never happened to me before.

Any of you who have been following this blog for any length of time know that the business has been a very frustrating, difficult and wearing thing - beyond my expectations. Part of that weariness was just wondering if I was doing the right thing.

That answered prayer - so simple for Him - so incredibly amazing to me - helped me feel so much more peaceful about what is happening here.

I know I'll feel discouraged and frustrated again. I know I'll doubt whether or not the business should continue and one of these days He may just say it is over.

I'm just excited and feel so blessed that He heard my prayer and answered it in the way He did this time. And I had to share it with you.

Do you feel God has answered any of your prayers beyond what you imagined? If you could imagine something being answered in your life right now what would it be?

Filling The Gap - Vulnerability in Marriage

The Crack
Originally uploaded by Phijomo

"Do I seek to protect my spouse? Do I fill in the gaps where they feel weak and vulnerable?"

The thing about being married to a guy is that they don't talk too much. Especially about their insecurities.

I'm not sure how to fill in the gaps for my husband.

And he doesn't know how to fill in my gaps either.

There is no way my husband can fulfill every insecurity, weakness and item of fragility in my life, even when I want him to. And that is upsetting.

When I'm feeling vulnerable and fragile inside I want to be whisked into someone's arms, comforted and encouraged and told that everything will be alright. And I want my husband to do that.

But he can't. He has to let me work, struggle and fight it out. And trust in the only One who can truly help me by either filling in the cracks or smoothing them out to become something beautiful.

I would love to hear your thoughts. How do you handle vulnerability and gaps in your life in relation to your marriage?

More Beautiful You

I have a deep passion toward hurting girls and specifically teenagers. So much of the time as teens girls DO NOT understand their true worth and beauty. I know we've all heard of all the reasons why this could possibly be. There are so many of them. It's impossible to prevent, it seems.

I, like most teen girls, struggled with body image and self esteem and still do to an extent. This song has touched me deep within.

Take a listen to these words and see if they touch your heart too.


More Beautiful You
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

With What Money?

I follow a blog that has to do with human trafficking on change.org. Now, I have to say up front that most of what is posted on this site I do not agree with. I do like the human trafficking section and tend to agree with or at least be able to understand where they are coming from on this issue.

This week I received an email from them (I must have signed up for that somewhere) about the shelter crisis for human trafficking. That article can be viewed here. In the article, Amanda Kloer points out that there are 100,000 new human trafficking victims each year and 80 beds of shelter in which to offer them refuge. She asks us, the reader, during the course of this posting, to contact our state representatives to support and fund services for human trafficking victims.

She goes on....

"The Domestic Minor Sex Trafficking Deterrence and Victims Support Act of 2010 would help get American victims the help they need. If passed, the bill will award six block grants to state or local entities who have a plan to investigate, prosecute and deter sex trafficking, while at the same time providing special services and shelter to victims. It would also help local law enforcement reach out to at-risk populations, like runaway and homeless youth, before the pimps do. And it would help fill the massive gap between the number of children being exploited in America and the number of shelter beds ready for them."

I can get on board with that, but my question is, with what money?

Pennsylvania, the state in which I live, is in debt $41,844,487,003.

That is a lot of money. Now, if I was in debt that much, I couldn't afford ANYTHING!

I hear numbers thrown around all over the place about the debt, our nation's debt, state debt, etc. It almost sounds normal to us to hear these numbers - like they are no big deal. But lately, this has been hitting me differently.

In my opinion, we as Christians, are far too quiet. Too quiet and not taken seriously. I don't think we need to be aggressive, but this is enough.

It is not the place of the government to be stepping in, especially when we have NO money - less than no money even. It is our place to be stepping in. It is our place to support the non-profits that are making the differences in areas we want them to be stepping in - as much as we can - in whatever way we can. It's not always financial. It may be a volunteer effort. It may just be encouragement.

I want the children who are at risk of being trafficked to be taken care of - by US, the PEOPLE, not the government.

Let's step up.

Pursuing Truth

Do I rejoice with the truth? Do I actively pursue God's truth over Satan's lies? *

I don't think this is as easy as it sounds.

Pursuing truth. In our marriages.

What is the truth in your marriage that you need to continually pursue? Are you needing to pursue truth in believing in and resting in your spouse's love for you? Do you need to pursue the truth of harsh realities that seem insurmountable?

I don't believe Christ believes in "pushing things under the rug". I think He likes to deal with things in a straight forward manner. He certainly was not shy about dealing with the Pharisees, even in their thoughts. Nor was He shy about dealing with Mary in her adultery and subsequent stoning incident. He dealt with the truth head on. That's one of the things I love about Him. He doesn't believe in masks and pretending. He is Truth.

Whether we want to face it or not, there are truths we need to admit, believe, and or deal with in our marriages. Sometimes....I wonder if I should even say all the time. We're all sinful and at least my marriage seems to highlight that the most because I am the most "me" in my marriage as compared to all other relationships.

What truth do you need to pursue and even rejoice in through the scope of your marriage today? Rejoice because He, the author of Truth, will help you.

(*Taken from Lysa TerKeurst's book, The Bathtub is Overflowing but I Feed Drained.")