Thoughts on Patience

Patience. The necessity of patience in a marriage is incredible.

Patience when he is running late from work and has forgotten to call....again. Patience when she sweeps up dirt piles and then forgets to clean them up.....again. Patience when the budget seems like it's never finished. Patience when neither of you know exactly what to do with a particular parenting problem. Patience when children don't arrive, even though you desperately want them. Patience through illness. The list is never ending.

I am an impulsive person. Impulsivity does not easily lend itself to patience. In fact in my case, it seems pretty near impossible. Yet in order to love, I must be patient.

Acknowledging that my husband didn't call me because he forgot, not because he could care less about me helps. Intentions and motives make all the difference in being patient. So do deep breaths and steps backwards.

Considering intentions and motives seems selfish though. What about a spouse who is difficult to love for whatever reason? How can I act patiently with them when my heart is far from them? How can I be patient when I just don't want to be?

FOCUS. Prayer. God, the author and perfector of love itself, is the only way to any true and heartfelt change. He is the only One who is going to change something so deeply engrained within me. Letting the Holy Spirit work in my life in this area is the part that will be the most difficult. How sad is it that things that are so against my grain literally feel painful when I try to change them? It is so much easier to just stay the way I am and expect my husband will still accept me or at least accept that our marriage will be the same as it's always been.

But I'll still see the look.

The look of hurt when I tell him he's done something wrong.....again. The look of hurt when I fly off the handle about something ridiculous. The look of loneliness when he thinks he has to meet all my desires and needs. Right now!

That should be my biggest motivator after God's calling for me to obey Him.

The next time I am tempted to lose my patience and freak out about whatever, I'm going to look into the eyes of who I am interacting with, be it a friend, my children or my husband. Don't eyes reveal the soul of the person? I'm going to remember that I am talking to one of God's beautiful creations. And if I mess up, I'll pray about it and try again the next time because if you're me, which I am, there will be MANY opportunities to instill patience in my soul.

Share with me your thoughts. I have a feeling I'm going to need them.